Interview with Lucifer (1 of 3)

Montana ice

Montana ice

Last week I had the opportunity to interview the devil, Lucifer. He is also known as, Satan, Day Star, and king of Babylon. Here, in three parts, is a transcription of our conversation.


Good evening, sir. I’m speaking with Lucifer from his branch headquarters close to downtown Fort Worth. He was kind to grant me access without restriction and give permission to reproduce in full an unedited transcript of our conversation. Thank you for your generosity, sir.  

Lucifer is currently king of this world and is seeking the office of King of kings and Lord of lords. He has been from the beginning of time a liar, deceiver, tempter, and accuser without parallel. It is generally agreed that he is the most handsome, beautiful creature ever created. By way of his charismatic personality, administrative prowess, and creative genius he has built an empire of great historical and worldwide influence founded under the title Hell, Inc. He now serves as the company’s President and Chairman with offices and viable concerns worldwide. 

Q          Lucifer, thank you for taking time from your busy schedule to visit with me. I don’t suppose there is anyone more qualified to discuss the topic of deceit and deception than you are. But before we begin our discussion of that topic, how did you get into this field?

A           Actually, it began as a limited vision on my part, but has escalated far beyond my wildest dreams. I began a small rebellion in heaven, a place not of this world, questioning the worthiness of God. As you noted, He holds the position I’m trying to usurp. When He got wind of my rebellion He removed me from my position as archangel and forced me to leave heaven along with all those sympathizing with my cause. I had no idea so many would follow my lead, but 33% joined in my rebellion.

Q          You mentioned your desire to attain the position and title of King of kings. Is that your fundamental goal?

A     My goal and primary aim, the cause of which I have dictated to my underlings, is this: To undermine the Kingdom of God and place myself in the supreme position in the universe. This will be done through intrigue and deceit of mankind, God’s highest creation.

Q     Why do you see mankind as your means to this exalted title? It would seem you’d war against God Himself.

A           No, no. God is much too strong and self-assured. Besides, hostile takeovers are out of fashion. We must resort to subterfuge of a more devious nature. His area of vulnerability lies within the heart of mankind. For whatever reason—He says its love—He put all of His relational hopes in one being and called it man. Stupidly, He gave man the freedom to choose between loving Him or being independent. And amazingly, He has invested His kingdom in man’s decision. This is God’s “soft underbelly,” to quote one of your great men, Winston Churchill. This vulnerability is my target.

Q          Lucifer, while you are apparently enjoying great progress toward achieving your goal, there is still opposition to you and your schemes. God has invested His people with tremendous power—the keys to the Kingdom, He calls it. I would assume, therefore, that the plan for gaining your sought-after title is complex to say the least?

A     Well, one might think so, but this is not the case by and large. Complex plans require a bureaucracy, extensive training programs, and the like. We make every effort to employ the simplest approach possible, or as God’s people call it, the simplest attack possible. Astutely manipulated, this is the heart and soul of deceit and deception. There are times when we go to…

Q          Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt you, but I find your last point rather phenomenal. If it wouldn’t be a breach of security, could you discuss in more detail what you mean when you say, employ the simplest attack possible?

A           Oh, certainly. And there’s no breach of security. Besides being as plain as the nose on your face, we have no standard practices that aren’t recorded throughout the annals of history, literally by the volume, not to mention the world’s all-time best seller, the Bible. I digress, but did you know that book has sold in excess of five billion copies? Anyway, even the most advanced management and marketing theories strive for simplicity in their product development. We are no different. While we do have stratagems calling for direct frontal assaults, such as XXX rated movie theaters to tempt the sensual needs, most of our negotiation—that is, temptation—is directed at the simple, mundane areas of life. Granted, it is great to have a big win by enticing a strong Christian into a porn house while he’s away from home on business. But, we have far more success with a simpler approach: compromised values while watching HBO; self-justification for a “small” impropriety; a novel with indiscretions that stick in the mind, etc. Ultimately, these pay off far more lucratively than a large, complex assault. This methodology has been implemented into every conceivable area of life. Porn and lust is but one example.

                Even though I am being candid about our tactical philosophy, our organization is in no danger of losing our market share. Such simplicity is too absurd for the logic of man. He considers himself just a bit too brilliant to be duped by an elementary approach like we employ. He rationalizes to himself, with some influence from my group, that to fall as he does to temptation must mean he is being assaulted by a force more complex than his mind can conceive. Thus, he finds that he…

Q         Pardon me for interrupting again, but I feel I am on the verge of understanding the genius of Hell, Inc. and your operational plan. Can you give some additional strategy to illustrate your point?

A           Sure. In fact, to demonstrate the ingenuity of our plan let me review the three primary strategies Hell, Inc. has developed. In our academy all of my associates become absolutely, unflinchingly proficient in three skills: Impersonation, Character Assassination, and Scripture Quotation. These are referred to as “ICS.”

                We really don’t worry much about those of mankind who are already ours. Because of the Great Coup, what my nemesis calls, the Fall, the inherent sinful nature of those who are mine accepts just about whatever suggestion we propose. It is the Christian with whom we are most concerned.

Q          Why is that?

A           Because they belong to Jesus the Christ. If they can be influenced to live in hypocrisy and disregard for their salvation, then Christ’s kingdom is weakened and my desired position is a bit closer. They are, as I said earlier, God’s “soft underbelly”—mere pawns in my quest for God’s title.

Tomorrow, the continuation of my interview with Lucifer, son of the Dawn. 

I had the opportunity to visit with Lucifer at his regional headquarters in Fort Worth, Texas. If you would like to know more about him and his initiatives, there are multiple passages devoted to him from the Bible. Perhaps the most complete is, Isaiah 14:12 ff. In addition, he and the Spirit of God are engaged in ongoing hostilities over the allegiance of humankind. More on this and the strategies of each side can be considered in the book, No Mercy