When was the last time you told yourself you did a good job? For me it had been years. You will remember from a recent post I wrote to you that there is a special place where God speaks to me: the parking lot in back of the office where I’m working, over by the dumpsters. Like you probably, I’ve been asking God why the back parking lot is special. I’ve concluded it isn’t the lot, but the time I spend walking across it to buy a cup of coffee at the gas station on the corner.
I arrived at the office a few weeks ago and was greeted by a potentially significant problem. The Executive Director was out of the office, so this fire-storm was mine to fight and contain. Forty-five minutes later, equilibrium was regained and I was strolling across the back lot toward the gas station thinking about the averted problem.
I realized as I walked that I had done a good job of dealing with the issues troubling the troops. But almost as soon as I was aware of having done a good job, there were also thoughts of how I could have done the job better.
As has been my custom, I launched into a critical, self-evaluation process to assess how to improve my performance as a leader the next time I am given an opportunity like the one just encountered.
But this morning, I was cognizant of an awkward feeling associated with having done a good job, and it got my attention. What is that about, I wondered as I walked. Why am I so uncomfortable acknowledging that I did a good job?
My Heavenly Father was trying to get my attention, which is the subject of my next note.